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Nov. 16th, 2010


Ice music metaphor 2/2

It took another year before Jaejoong managed to complete his first ever triple axel! It was not perfect and he wasn’t all too sure he could perform it again but his excitement got the better of him. He finally crossed that invisible barrier to the other side of the lake to challenge, if not only to share his utter joy and accomplishment with Junsu.

It was just as well because it was only two month before that Junsu could finally smile again on ice. Those two years he spent on the lake after his rehab was literally hell. The tears and blood that were shed was enough to break his mother’s heart ten times over. However he could be such a blind stubborn fool that his mother knew better than to interfere. Fool he may be but idiot he is not. He knew that which made his skating special was his attitude, confidence and grace... while it may be robbed for the moment he knew they still reside in him. Since he still holds the most important aspect, there was no fear.

Technique was important sure, but Junsu’s skating was never about techniques. Unlike Jaejoong where technique is the base and pivotal point, to Junsu its just another instrument to his song. You don’t watch Junsu and think “wow that’s such a complicated move”, you watch and feel “that is so beautiful~”. Junsu can smile as it is once again beautiful~ He still cant jump like he used to and sometimes parts of his body doesn’t listen but its okay. He has learnt to adapt and in some ways his skating is even more special and unique now then before.

It is what Jaejoong also realises as he approached Junsu from the other side of the lake. Compared to Junsu he was awkward. So mechanical and just oh so awkward despite the fact that Junsu had yet to regain all the grace he once had. Jaejoong was rendered speechless at seeing Junsu skate so close, his expression, his whole body emanating his endless love for what he’s doing. Jaejoong’s mind turns into a contradictive mess arguing whether it was luck he never saw Junsu up close because he’d never have the courage to start ice skating otherwise or should he be regretting because he thinks he may have been taught wrong somehow. This is what ice skating should look like.

He was about to hit himself on the head for being a stubborn competitive idiot to miss such beauty for all this time when he was knocked in the head out of his reverie by Junsu himself. “Stop making that stupid looking face Jae.” Laughing out loud after he whispered his little taunt Junsu pulled Jaejoong by the hand as they skate back to Junsu’s house for hot chocolate. Challenge all but forgotten.

The week after they both enter a figure skating competition. Junsu wins first and Jaejoong gets second. The audience is a mess after the announcement, half cheering for Junsu’s win half complaining why the guy that pulled off the triple axel in a relatively amateur competition didn’t win. Junsu raises his eyebrows in amusement on the podium and smiles charmingly, most of the female audiences quiet down. Jaejoong just sighs and shakes his head, understanding all too well. Why he lost and why the girls suddenly didn’t have a problem with Junsu winning anymore.

This situation repeats itself again and again in the coming competitions. However with every passing one, Junsu and Jaejoong’s scores become closer and closer. A day comes when their scores are even. Its not the same though, no. Junsu receives higher on his presentation and Jaejoong receives higher on his techniques. The Judges can’t decide and the spectator never agrees so end up tied in first place.

Back at their lake Jaejoong gives Junsu a jab as they skate together saying, “I think you should go back to wearing those female costume so we can enter the pairs competition. It’ll put a stop to the constant arguments we cause between the audience. The judges are starting to get sick of us you know, they’re having a hard time cause of us.”

Junsu gives Jaejoong a look, then whacks him across the head before skating off yelling, “You’re the girly looking one idiot! Mom would have a field day with that, she’d love to dress you up all prettily~” Junsu almost fell over laughing at the image that comes up in his mind and was determined to share with his mother the idea. Jaejoong on the other hand was left dumbfounded, looking on as Junsu skates back his house laughing like there’s no tomorrow.


I wonder if anyone saw how this story is reminiscent to RL Jaesu music journey?
This story stemmed from what Jaejoong mentioned in a few interviews and such. He used to think that being a good singer means you could make singing a hard note look effortless. That's why at the beggining of their career he always looked so expressionless onstage. He realised that is the wrong thinking when he sees Junsu sing so he's been learning from Junsu how to express emotions. Honestly Jaejoong's stage presence has imporved by leaps and bound since then.
I also threw in Junsu voice break = car accident and supportive mother.
Jaejoong unsupportive parents and supposed tone deafness = lack innate talent and also Jaejoong joined SM later than Junsu.

Nov. 14th, 2010


Ice music metaphor 1/2

This is a story about two would be friends and rival. The two boys lived on the opposite ends of a lake forever frozen over. As fate would have it, their formal meeting will not happen until they’d both turned 16. But… from the tender age of six when Junsu was first able to skate on that beautiful lake, Jaejoong had been observing.

Figure skating was Junsu’s mother’s unachieved dream. Having only twin boys did not stop her from dressing at least one of them up in various gorgeous male and female figure skating apparel then letting them loose on the ice as she showered them with her love for the sport. Unlike his hyung Junsu didn’t mind, it made his mother happy and he got to skate. He’d thought then that no one would see anyway.

Junsu inherited from his mother an inborn talent for the sport, which made her happy to no end and consequently at her constant request he probably spent more of his life skating than walking. She however was no martyr and had never forced him, he complied with her request every time because like her, he’d loved the sport too.

Jaejoong on the other hand was the only boy born in a family with eight older sisters. His old fashioned parents deemed the sport too prissy and gaudy for their one and only son. So even with the frozen lake in their backyard, they refused to let even the girls skate in case it roused any interest in the boy. Jaejoong was too young to understand or care until he saw from the other side of the lake someone flew on ice. It was sometimes a boy, sometimes a girl… he’s not sure but with time he learns to recognise the movements and realises its the same person.

He’d later also realise what he saw that made him fall for ice skating was a Waltz jump, a simple technique to him now but he’d thought it was absolutely cool then. Actually, even now he still gets the same feeling when he sees Junsu execute that move. Only Junsu. So, Jaejoong skates because despite what his parents think of figure skating, he thought the moves were cool.

The moment Jaejoong finally decided to start skating was when he turned 16... because Junsu stopped. Junsu practically lived on the ice so when Jaejoong didn’t see him for a whole week he had a feeling something was wrong. Jaejoong never knew he could miss something so much, the feeling so unbearable that it made him go over to the other side of the lake for the first time in his 16 years of life. It was an awkward first encounter with Junsu’s family, laced with awkward questions, comments and explanation but he succeeded in finding out what he came for.

Turns out Junsu was involved in a car accident and is still receiving treatment, which is how their first meeting came to happen in Junsu’s hospital room. That day Jaejoong finally finds out once and for all that the person he’d been observing is in fact a GUY by the name Kim Junsu. It seems the accident had left Junsu unable to control his lower half anymore. The doctors can’t pinpoint the problem and Junsu’s mom refuse to let them tell him he may not ever return to normal again, she knows he wouldn’t take their word anyway.

It strangely pained Jaejoong to see the blanked face Kim Junsu. His eyes were never able to make out Junsu’s features before but from the way he moved, Jaejoong could tell he must have been an animated child… with ever changing facial expressions and mood... For some reason he’s pissed off at the Kim Junsu he finally meets and he can’t just leave it at that so his frustration talks…

He tells Junsu, “My name is Kim Jaejoong, I live across the lake from where you live. I’ve seen you ice skating since your first time. I’ve always thought it was unfair how we both lived there yet you got to skate and I didn’t. Even after my parents decided to leave the few of us that wanted to stay to our oldest sister so they can move to a warmer place for retirement I didn’t start to skate. Why? Because its useless, I can’t catch up to someone who practically skate everyday as if his life depended on it. But its cool now, I’m gonna start. You’re back to square one like me so its fair. You start your rehab and I’ll start my skating. I’ll bet in just two years I can beat your ass. Don’t you dare refuse the bet, you are still at an advantage here with 16 years of experience!”

Jaejoong realised he sounded like an unreasonable asshole but as he finished Junsu stared at him for a minute before finally smiling. So whatever~ nothing else matters, he knows Junsu gets him. They shook hands on it and the tear that dropped from both their eyes as Jaejoong closed the door behind him tells them both that they probably had just made a friend for life.

So Jaejoong went to buy a pair of skates and Junsu starts his rehab. Jaejoong comes visit Junsu on rainy days where he can’t skate and when Junsu was finally let home Jaejoong ends up joining Mrs Kim home schooling class. As it turns out it seems Jaejoong spends all his time outside ice skating with Junsu. Even when Junsu finally could get back on ice they skated at the opposite ends of the lake. It was a silly competition but more than that Jaejoong is so used to looking at Junsu skate from afar that it feels strange to be so up close. Furthermore Junsu had yet to be able to freely control his limbs and Jaejoong didn’t want to show Junsu the not yet perfect him.

Two years passed by since that fateful day but Junsu doesn’t mention the bet, so Jaejoong pretends to forget too. Skating had not come easy to him. His teacher told him he had the perfect physique but lacks innate talent. However practice makes perfect so Jaejoong practices hard, believing the person that can pull off the harder move equals the better skater. Jaejoong learns to perfect every move in the book, deciding to challenge Junsu when he is able to complete a triple axel.

Junsu is different, always had been. Skating had come easy to him as a child, picking up all the moves his mother taught was well child’s play. It was a game to see if he could learn it in a day and the prize was hot chocolate. He always got his chocolate before the end of the day. His mother soon ran out of things she could teach and he started playing around making his own as he pleases or secretly learn any move his mom seemed to have been impressed by on tv to show her.

However his protégé like past only further serve as a vice to his anticipated yet dreaded return to the ice. It was such a traumatic moment that he was glad Jaejoong was not around to witness his breakdown. How mentally crippling t was to discover he was no longer free on ice. His limbs would suddenly refuse to function, his body no longer able to execute even the simplest moves, effortless grace gone to be replaced with strained tension… His body that had become a stranger to him after the half year rehabilitation.

Jinh and Jan

“You are spinning out of control!” Roared Jan as he burst through the door to the master bedroom. “Where are they?!” Upon receiving no reply from Jinh, his impatience and rage propelled him to knock over everything in sight.

Seeing this, Jinh who had been waiting for Jan’s entrance on his bed just smirked. Clearly enjoying the scene. It was fun to make Jan angry, his only enjoyment these days it seems. Since to his rising indignation, it is decidedly impossible to make the usually emotionless man laugh or cry. Even though his furniture do receive some damage once in a while, Jan is still just human. Jinh could cause more damage with a flick of his wrist than Jan ever could. Bringing the roof down on any building is child’s play, something which Jinh himself had never indulged in considering his love for architecture.

Jan who had finally ran out of things to throw stopped only to glare at Jinh, spitting through gritted teeth, “What did you do?”

Jinh as always answers with feigned innocence, singing an altered version of a children’s songs as if he has no idea what Jan was on about. “Five little ducks went out one day~ over the hill and far away~ hmm… MASTER duck called quack quack quack quack~ but sadly no little ducks came back~”

A wide eyed Jan could only cover his face in exasperation as he muttered, “You are a god damned vampire… can’t you at least act anything like the bloodsucking monster that you are supposed to be?” Straightening up, Jan regained his composure as he addressed his master in a respectful tone. “Sir, I believe you know what those vermin are capable of if let loose. The sole reason we were granted custody was because they were all on death row when we asked to use their bodies as medical test subject! If anything…”

Jinh cut Jan’s lecture short with a sharp look before reconfirming, “Yes, you claimed we were going to use them as test subject. So I did just that! We don’t want to make a liar out of you now do we?”


Upon gaining Jan’s undivided attention Jinh continued, “Like I said… they went over the hill and far away~” With a downright evil smirk Jinh threw Jan a meaningful look before throwing his head back laughing obnoxiously.


It wasn’t until Jinh had successfully messed up all the bed sheets rolling around in laughter did Jan finally get the picture. “Did you throw them off a cliff?!”

At the question Jinh finally calmed down enough to sit up and like an innocent child, smilingly nod in confirmation. Even wiping a stray tear that had escaped due to his excessive laughing at Jan’s unusual change in expressions. Making a mental note to cross off shock, anger, confusion…

“Well… that was nicely settled Sir. I would have appreciated it if you had informed me but that was definitely an ingenious way to rid of the corpses.”

“Corpse? What corpse? Oh they were definitely alive and kicking when they went over~” As the atmosphere begins to chill, Jinh’s originally smiling face gradually darkens as he continued… “Test subject remember? I wanted to test the different responses and looks of fear at retribution. The moment I laid eyes on those vermin I knew what you brought them here for. If I was going to even think about doing what you wanted me to do, I at least wanted to know a little bit about them. So we had a little talk…”

Jinh threw a scathing look at Jan as he let the sentence trail off… knowing full well Jan is aware of what that little talk consisted of. Averting his gaze Jan could only counter timidly, “Master needed a few lives and they deserved to die.” Slowly gaining confidence as he spoke, Jan turned to look straight into Jinh’s eyes as he questioned, “You can’t possibly expect me to serve you innocents right?!”

At the challenge. Jinh rose off the bed to slowly approach Jan. Who in turn, surprised at Jinh’s sudden movement backs himself up to the wall with his chest heaving in shame and guilt. “NO! No… no… I expect nothing Jan. NOTHING! You should have known well enough to bring me NOTHING! Don’t pretend not to understand! YOU KNOW! I don’t just take a life Jan… I don’t just take their blood… with their blood, their life force… I take their essence. How dare you? How dare you demand me to contaminate my soul with the essence of a murderer?! A rapist?!”

By that point Jinh was so close to Jan that even if he wasn’t a vampire, he heard everything loud and clear as Jan whispered, “Sir, you are a vampire… you have no soul. You need to take lives or you will age. Its my job to make sure you don’t age and you’ve basically made me a failure. With me serving you, you have already lost two years. You’re not like us, we age and we die. You don’t! You will just keep aging until you walk around like a mummified corpse. Do you want that?”

Its Jinh’s turn to avert his gaze as he turns his back on Jan. “yeah… I want that. Better than the alternative aint it? Did you know? It takes 10 years off of blood for my kind to be able to walk under the sun? I love it too much, I don’t think I can handle living as a nocturnal. Nothing beats playing soccer with the sun beating down on your back…”

Frustrated at Jinh‘s rambling, Jan’s voice cut through like a knife. “Stop denying yourself! The fact that you yourself look like an innocent child, that u radiate like a ball of sunshine is proof enough of the heinous sins you’ve committed! Vampires are the reflections of the essence they’ve consumed right? The more beautiful you are the more disgusted I am… Every time I see that angelic face you make all I can think of is all the innocent smiles you have stolen. Did those expressions belong to countless babies? Little children? Loving mothers?”

Jinh was left chuckling forcibly at Jan’s words. “Is that the reason why you have always been so cold to me? You want in on a secret Jan? Vampires don’t get trained to consume essence until they turn 13, I’m 23 this year and I’m able to walk under the sun.”

“That’s impossible!” Jan reasoned. “You have my mother’s essence! I can feel it. Even if father never answered why I must serve you when I can feel mother‘s essence so clearly inside you, I know that you killed her!”

“I never claimed I was innocent Jan. Yes I killed her. She was my first and last. It was never supposed to happen that way. There’s a routine you know? First you are fed a baby, its innocence and purity is supposed to intoxicate you; bring out your desire and thirst for blood. Then you are fed a murderer, giving you killing intent necessary for the hunt. Taking away any sympathy; weakness. I’d just barely turned 13 when I met your mother, she’d been infected by a werewolf. I didn’t understand what was going on then but she’d begged me to kill her. She begged me Jan, a 13 year old to kill her. Your father arrived right after and just at a glance he understood the whole situation. It was baffling to the 13 year old me when your he started to beg me to kill her too. They saw and immediately recognized me for what I am, the only saviour to your mother’s soul. The only way to stop her from transforming.”

At the haunted look on Jinh’s face as he was telling the story, Jan finally understood why his father on his death bed had made Jan swear to serve Jinh til the day he dies. Jinh was not a monster who only fed on innocent babies and children, as a 23 year old vampire he is still only an innocent child.
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May. 20th, 2010


When Park Eun Tae teaches Junsu

cos i was bored n two people liked my last one o.0 lol
tell me if its boring haha
feels like i'm writing a report or something lol
a bit too realistic... after i reread it its not funny or dramatic at all lol


Their first meeting was spent with Junsu staring at Park Eun Tae throughout the rehearsal. From the beginning, PET thought nothing of teaching the so called “hallyu star”. However while being observed so closely, the musical actor normally unfazed by thousands of audiences finds himself a bit unnerved. As a teacher, senior and in everyway a superior musical actor, he feels the pressure to show perfection. A need to demonstrate this is how its suppose to be done, how a professional does it. He left that day with adrenaline running high, fully satisfied with his performance only to realise he has not taught Junsu a thing.

After the initial introduction they’d gone back to rehearsing and kid Junsu switched back to man Junsu. His serious face was like an issuing challenge that PET threw himself into, totally forgetting altogether to do at least the basic a teacher should do. He had yet to hear Junsu’s voice, ask whether he has memorised the lyrics or understood the character…

In their next meeting PET learns that Junsu had the songs memorised within two day. He couldn’t remember how many days it took him but decides the reason is that he’d had ample time to rehearse so had used them to meticulously study the songs while Junsu is in a rush. He also unsatisfactorily/satisfactorily discovers that Junsu’s voice is nothing like what a musical actors voice should be. Moreover this daring newcomer even has the guts to decide for himself that he will not bother learning the right way but will sing in his own style.

The result of Junsu’s Mozart after 15 days of rehearsal is nothing like the character PET portrays. Xiahzart is too innocent, too childish, too silly… not fierce enough, not dependant enough, not strong enough…. Yet for some strange reason, PET is proud of his student’s Mozart, believes in this thoroughly different Mozart, feels for this unfortunate Mozart.

Everyone claps his back for a job well done, PET himself however feels he’s done nothing at all as a teacher. Junsu takes in everything he sees and told and reproduces them in his own way. He does nothing right but PET can’t see any flaws either. At the end of the day PET can see practically no resemblance in their character and he’s left to wonder has Junsu even learnt anything from him at all? Was his presence even necessary?

By the end of those 15 rehearsal days PET can no longer consider Junsu his student, he decides instead that he made a friend, a comrade, a cute little brother.

Feb. 23rd, 2010


When Park Eun Tae meet Junsu

uh... iono why i wrote this? lol
took me less than an hour so excuse me~ o.0
inspired by ppl who thought no one would bother writing a fanfic on them haha tongue.gif
also i tried looking but didn find ne ^^"


It was one fine day ruined when Park Eun Tae learned he had fifteen days to teach a total amateur to play the lead role he had to work so hard to obtain. A kid idol from a pretty boy band no less. One that was so famous even he who does not care for pop culture has heard of! One who was sure to have hoards of crazy fan girls dominating the beautiful theatre mindlessly just to see his face…

By the end of the day however, he realises he was in no position to complain. He was the best is all. He’ll just do his job, treat the lessons as extra practice and whether the kid sinks or floats its up to him. At the very least he’s not the ones who has to share the stage with the newbie when he falls.

It wasn’t until halfway through another one of his rehearsals that he finally meets the idol kid. He had arrived a little late so they’d started the rehearsal the moment he arrived. As it was, he wasn’t informed until their lunch break came that the man who had been observing him from the corner of the practise room was none other than his “idol kid”.

The initial shock at how this MAN is the same pretty boy in the photo he was shown immediately faded when said boy came up to greet him. It was the same infectious so called “angel smile” the girls gushed about as they filled him in on his unwanted student and the apparently trademark husky yet high pitched voice that gave it away. The boy’s personality and his smile with its effect tenfold when seen directly causes him to wonder whether Junsu (the idol kid’s name) is a man with a child’s heart or a child who has yet grown into a man.
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Oct. 2nd, 2009


If dbsk members were to become vampires~

umm please excuse my total randomness hahaha

i was just thinking randomly~
how each of the boys would react if they'd suddenly been turned into a vampire stephanie meyer's style lol
well here's my most probably biased assumption with uh... excuses...

jaesu would both probably fall into depression trying to starve themselves to death til they meet/get rescued by the rest of the dbsk boys...

junsu would then learn to overcome his blood lust and pretend to return to his former adorable self ^^
we all know junsu is a dedicated christian and would never intentionally hurt anyone. also he keep his trouble to himself and always try to make the people around him happy... so makes sense no?? :P

jae would be similar to jasper, unable to accept reality yet still tries his best to restrain himself while fully showing his displeasure.
in all honesty from what i've seen jae likes to sulk quite a bit lol. he also tends to be quite truthful and is not afraid to show his discontentment. Also he loves the people around him too much to be able to kill them.

changmin in a fit of frustration would succumb to his blood lust and consequently the memory will haunt him for eternity enabling him to successfully control his urges.
Min fans must admit it! the kid has quite a temper lol... and iono i felt like being cruel k? :P

yunho will keep fighting til the brink of insanity til he finally gives in yet manages to stop just before its too late. he's stubborn, however since he's had a taste the urges are stronger and consequently forevermore every moment is a silent mental battle for him.
when i think of yunho words such as stubborn and fighter comes to mind~

yoochun would prob be the first to give in and maybe even makes the best of it since he's quick to understand he can't change what's been done and has to live with it. Fortunately since he does not deny himself; killing when he sees someone that deserves death, he develops absolute control over his blood lust. Aside from changmin who've managed to develop an absolute abhorrence to human blood despite its allure, yc is the most confident at keeping his sanity when it comes to spending prolonged period of time near human blood.
i've no reasoning for yc... ^^ but its cool no? :P n maybe its also that yc is emotionally weaker compared to the other members...

i would love it if someone would write a story based on this premise~
just like the idea of how they are so similar internally yet externally they are opposite...